A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: There are no fish in there.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

How do you know there are no fish there? asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, youre going to have to pay for those holes.

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.

Help, help! yells one of the blondes.

Help us, help us! yells the other.

Maybe it would help if we yelled together, said the first blonde.

Good idea, said the other.

Together, together!

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.

The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their tourist garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop dead gorgeous blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldnt help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, Good morning, Father – Good morning, Father, nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?

The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them-and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.

After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.)

Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: Good morning, Father, Good morning Father, and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldnt stand it and said. Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?

Oh, Father, dont you recognize me? Im Sister Angela!

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?

A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

put a scratch and sniff snicker at the bottom of the pool and tell the blonde to jupm in after it

The angry preacher…

The preacher rose with a red face. Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!

No one moved.

The preacher continued, Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in our heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!

Again all was quiet.

Slowly a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke.

Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.


I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan.


I told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?

A: You dont let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

What do you call a blond with two brain cells? Pregnant!

A blonde owned a small business that she was about to lose, so she went to the church and prayed: “God, if I dont win the lotto, I will lose my business.” She didnt win. So the next day she was about to lose her business and her car. She went to the church to pray: “God, if I dont win the lotto, I will lose my business and my car.” Still, she didnt win. So the next day she was about to lose her buisness, her car and her house. She went to the church to pray: “God, if I dont win the lotto, I will loose my business, my car and my house.” Then suddenly the blonde was surrounded by a blinding white light, and she heard the booming voice of God declare, “Buy a ticket.”

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.