There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day

A Blonde came home one day from work and found her boyfriend in bed with another woman. She was so devastated that she grabbed the gun out of the dresser drawer and put it up to her head threatening to commit sucide.

The boyfriend in shock screams, No honey dont do it, I am so sorry! Then the blonde says, Shut up! Youre next!

A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?

A: You dont let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Three pregnant woman were sitting in a Gyneas waiting room (of course, one was blonde, one was a redhead and one was a brunnette).

The brunette proudly says Im gonna have a son coz my husband was on top!

Then the red says If thats the case, then Im gonna have a daughter coz I was on top!.

All of a sudden the blonde gets hysterical and cries IM GONNA HAVE PUPPIES!

Bill Gates dies and goes to Hell. Satan greets him: Welcome Mr Gates, weve
been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. Youve been
selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Ill be generous and give you a
choice of three places in which youll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are
tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive colloseum where thousands
of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde
with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle
of the finest wine. To Bills delight, he sees a PC in the corner.

Without hesitation, Bill says Ill take this option.

Fine, says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room.

Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

That was Bill Gates! cried Lucifer. Why did you give him the best place of
all!

Thats what everyone thinks snickered Satan. The bottle has a hole in it and
the girl hasnt!

What about the PC?

Its got Windows 95! laughed Satan. And its missing three keys!

Which three?

Control, Alt and Delete!

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home?A: She moved.

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop!

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five — one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.