A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that shed like a medium

pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces shed like to have it cut into:

six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I dont think I

could ever eat twelve.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?Pregnant!

Once there was a mirror that sucked people into it if they lied. So this brunette walked up to it and said, I think I am the most beautiful person in the whole world . . . and it sucked her in. Then a redhead walked up to it and said, I think I am the most wonderful person in the whole world . . . and it sucked her in too. Then a blonde walked up to it and said, I think . . and it sucked her in.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50."And by the way," the blonde added, "thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari."

Q: What do UFOs and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

I resent that remark. said the blonde as she rose from the cafeteria table. Ill give you 5 seconds to take that back.

Oh yeah? snarled the dark haired woman, who upon standing was head and shoulders above the blonde. Suppose I dont take it back in five seconds?

Well … stammered the blonde, how much time do you need?

A blonde chick walks into a bar, sits down and starts watching the TV. Theres a guy on the news thats going to jump off a building, so the guy sitting beside her says 10 bucks says he jumps.

The blonde replied, Sure, Ill take that bet.

The guy on the news jumps, so she pays the guy sitting beside her his 10 dollars.

He laughs and says, Hey, I feel too bad taking advantage of you. I saw it on the 5:00 news.

She replies Its OK I saw it on the 5:00 news too, but I just didnt think hed do it again.

Q: Whats a brunettes mating call?

A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: All the blondes have gone home!

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.