A: The oven doesnt go to 700 degrees.

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:

Blonde One: I cant seem to get this door unlocked!

Blonde Two: Well, youd better hurry up and try harder! its starting to rain, and the top is down!

A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. Where have you been? asked the man. I cant believe you left me down there! I couldnt get the tailgate open!

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

A: An air bag.

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.

The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and, of course, the machine keeps feeding out drinks.

Another woman walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before asking if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts in her face, Cant you see Im winning?

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blondes blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. "Im trying to pop out this dent, but its not really working.""Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

What is chemistrys greatest achievement ……

Artificial blondes!

Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?

Sure that sounds great! said Julie.

Well, how much do you want me to pay you? asked the man.

Is fifty bucks alright? Julie asked.

Yeah, great. Youll find the paint and ladders youll need in the garage.

The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.

Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house? asked the wife.

Well she must, she was standing right on it! her husband replied.

About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. Im all finished, she told the surprised homeowner.

The man was amazed. You painted the whole porch?

Yeah, Julie replied, I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!

The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie. Oh, and by the way, said Julie, Thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari.

Q: How do you know that a blonde sent you a fax?



A: It has a stamp on it.