A blonde at a party, was telling her friend that shed sworn off men for life.

They lie, they cheat, and theyre just no damn good, she moaned. From now on, when I want sex, Im going to use my tried and tested plastic companion, she said.

What happens when the batteries run out? asked her friend.

Thats simple, replied the blonde. Ill just fake an orgasm as usual.

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (Its a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.

The steward who checks tickets says, Im so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.

I can do What-eva I want, Im a blonde. Well Ill get the pilot.

The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says, What did you say?

The pilot simply says, I told her 1st class wasnt going to Miami, just coach was!!!

Two blonde guys were sitting around talking. After a while, the first blonde looks at the second blonde and says, Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?

The second guy says, Wow, you have an airplane? Lets go!

So they go for a tour around the city in the plane. Eventually they run low on fuel and need to land. The blonde pilot starts circling around looking for a place to land. He sees an airstrip close by. He says his to his new buddy along for the ride, Lets land here. It looks like its as good a place as any.

So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last minute he swerves and pulls back up.

Damn! he says, That is the SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to land on it?

Since its the only runway nearby, he decides to try again, with the same result. Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, All right, Im going to try ONE more time, and if I cant land it were just going to crash and hope we dont die.

So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither is hurt. When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy is swearing and gesticulates wildly at the runway.

Im gonna find whoever designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be total moron! No one could land on anything that short!

The second guy looks around and says Yeah, but look how wide it is!

Q: Whats five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why did the blonde take some bread to the Toilet?

A: Because she wanted to feed the Toilet Duck

Q: Why was the blonde staring at the Orange juice?

A: Because it said Concentrate.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!

A blonde lived on a farm. He didnt get many visitors, so I went to see him…when I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him, and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He replied that he was trying to win a Nobel Peace prize.

I said, Well, thats great, but what are you doing in the paddock?

He replied, I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Nobel Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field.

Q: Why did the blonde girl have bruises on her belly button ?

A:Because it turns out blonde boys arent that smart either.

Why cant the blonde put in a light bulb?

Shey kept breaking them with the hammer.

Did you hear about the new blonde paint? Its not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.