What are the 2 ways Blondes and dogs are the same?

They can both bleed for a week without dying and bury a bone without getting there nose dirty.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race. They were supposed to swim the English Channel.

A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a little later. They waited hours for the blonde to show up. When she finally did, they asked her what had taken her so long.

The blonde was very upset as she screamed, This was supposed to be a breast stroke race, and those girls were using their arms!!!

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, Im going to try to swim to shore. So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, I wonder if she made it. I guess its better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve. So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, I wonder if they made it! I think Id better try to make it, too. So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, Im too tired to go on! So she swam back.

There are more jokes like this at http://www.humorshack.com

Q: Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?

A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: What is black and blue and brown lying in a ditch?

A: A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes.

This blonde goes to the doctor, the doctor asks whats wrong? She takes her finger and says while she points my head hurts, my breast hurts, my knee hurts, and my foot hurts. The doctor asks are you really a red head? She gose no im a blonde. The doctor says no wonder your finger is broke.

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde…yeah right…

1.Who do want to be most like in life:

A.Vanna White

B.Michelle Fiefer

C.Britney Spears

E.None of the Above

2.In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:

A.Run when you see the seeker

B.Stay hiding until the seeker finds you

C.Run when the seeker sees you

E.Follow the seeker quietly

3.What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease

A.You loose alot of weight

B.Gain weight

C.Get really smart

D.Loose your memory

4.How do you kill a bird:

A.Hit it

B.Throw it off a building

C.Cook it

D.All of the above

5.Whats an important question about pregnancy

A.Is it mine

B.How far along am I

C.Is it a boy or girl

D.What hospital should I go to for delivery

Dont read them this part:

Results:

1.

A=5pts.

B=3pts.

C=2pts.

D=1pt.

2.

A=4

B=5

C=2

D=3

3.

A=4

B=3

C=5

D=1

4.

A=3

B=5

C=4

D=1

5.

A=5

B=1

C=3

D=2

TOTAL:

20 =Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19=Pretty Dumb; 10-14=Not Bad; 9-Smart for a Blonde

Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: Whats a lightbulb?

A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, Daaady!

There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.



They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time.



First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.



Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her.



They didnt like people yelling fake incidents. Then the blonde stepped up and she thought that yelling a mother nature disaster was a good idea. They yelled 1-2-3 and the blonde yelled FIRE!

Here about the blonde who got an A.M. radio?