Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.

Applicant: Im the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.

Newlans Truism: An acceptable level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

According to my calculations, the problem doesnt exist.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.

If there isnt a law, there will be.

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

Inspiration and perspiration are related by more than rhyme.

Free time which unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted.