To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

An error in the premise will appear in the conclusion.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.

You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution, screamed the terrorist leader, and youre going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?

The Englishman spoke first.

Before I die, I want to honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing God Save The Queen to all you men.

That can be arranged, said the terrorist.

The Frenchman said, And I want to honor my country before I die by singing The Marseilles to your men.

The Japanese said, Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving the lecture I was going to present on the Mapanese style of industrial management.

The terrorist turned finally to the American.

What is your last request?

The American replied, I want you to kill me right now so I dont have to listen to another lecture on the Japanese style of industrial management!

Ducharmes Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Parkinsons Laws: First Law – Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. Second Law – Expenditures rise to meet income. Fourth Law – The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done. Law of Committees – The amount of time spent by a committee on an agenda item is inversely proportional to the cost of the item. Fifth Law – If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it. Sixth Law – Action expands to fill the void created by human failure.

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.

The Japanese team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of Executives was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.

Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.

After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to 4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. We must give him empowerment and enrichment. That ought to do it.

The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.

The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

Its lonely at the top, but you eat better.