Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

If it works, dont fix it!

Boldly going forward because we cannot find reverse.

The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.

1. If it rings, put it on hold.
2. If it clunks, call the repairman.
3. If it whistles, ignore it.
4. If its a friend, stop work and chat.
5. If its the boss, look busy.
6. If it talks, take notes.
7. If its handwritten, type it.
8. if its typed, copy it.
9. If its copied, file it.
10. If its Friday, forget it!

Creativity is no substitute for knowing what youre doing.

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, Say, why did the foreman fire you?

Replied the second, Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.

There is nothing so small that it cant be blown out of proportion.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com