Job placement: Telling your boss what he can do with your job.

Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.

It is easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

If at first you dont succeed, well…darn.

Do whatever your enemies do not want you to do.

Thoreaus Theories Of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a programs commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar bug in the system, the system is revised, the bug taken away, and youre left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a programs user friendliness invariable lead to work in improving users computer literacy. 4) Thats not a bug, thats a feature!

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Real programmers dont announce how many times the operations department called them last night.

For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome it.