When Micheal Jacksons ex-girlfriend had his baby, Michael asked, Honey, its been nine months. When can I have sex again?

She said, Damn, Michael… at least let the kid learn how to walk first!

A young boy asks his Priest if God is a man or a woman. The Priest decides to tease the boy and answers that God is both. The boy then asks if God is black or white. Again the answer is both. Next question, is God gay or straight. Once more the answer is both. The boy then asks, Father, is Michael Jackson God?

Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to the effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to propagate his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe.

Other tactics to demonstrate the non-existence of God will include the dropping of leaflets pointing out the fact that Michael Jackson has a new album out and Oprah Winfrey has not died yet. This is only one of several Psy-Ops operations mounted by the Allies to undermine the unswerving religious fanaticism that fuels the Talibans fighting spirit.

Pentagon sources have recently confirmed rumours that America has already sent in a 200-foot-tall robot Jesus, which roams the Taliban front lines glowing eerily and shooting flames out of its fingers while saying, I am the way, the truth and the life, follow me or die.

However, plans to have the giant Christ kick the crap out of an effeminate 80-foot Mohammed in central Kabul were discarded as insensitive to Muslim allies.

Why does Michael Jackson put dairly on his nob

1.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, Darn, I almost made it!

3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

4.Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend youre Erykah Badu.

5.Write on the wall of a womens bathroom Tom was here. In the mens bathroom write Michael Jackson was here.

6.Ask a person in the stall next to you for a tampon.

7.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

8.For women, stand in front of the toilet.

9.Scream Ohh it burns! as you use the bathroom.

10.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that you cant get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

Whats the difference between a polythene bag and Michael Jackson?



A: One is made of plastic and dangerous to



children,the other is used to carry your



shopping home!

Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzenegger are in an airplane. There are lots of kids on the plane with them.

Suddenly an engine catches fire. The plane is going to crash. Realising this, Arnie and Michael grab the only two parachutes on the plane.



What about the kids? asks Michael



F**k the kids Arnie replies



Michael thinks for a moment and says



Do you think we have time?

Q. What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A. Why both slap thier meat between 4 year old buns.

Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with
…the other is used to carry groceries.

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?
A: He was choking on a small bone!