There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.

When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read,stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make themscream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the
Californias third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.

Baby conceived naturally… Scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 chad sells at Sothebys for $4.6 million.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American
Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan,
Syria, and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows
so it crashes before installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers and
baseball bats must be registered by January 2036.

——————————————————————————–These are actual calls to technical support help desks… (Some of you may find this funny while others could possibly use this section as a reference)A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under Windows. The woman then responded, No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine.
——————————————————————————–Tech Support: How much free space do you have on your hard drive? Customer: Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?
——————————————————————————–Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: Id like a mouse mat, please. Salesperson: Certainly sir, weve got a large variety. Customer: But will they be compatible with my computer?
——————————————————————————–I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.
——————————————————————————–Customer: Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?
——————————————————————————–I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this: Customer: Hi. Is this the Internet?
——————————————————————————–Some people pay for their on-line services with checks made payable to The Internet.
——————————————————————————–Customer: So th