Why are camels called ships of the desert?

– They are full of Arab semen.

How does a redneck mother know if her daughter has a yeast infection?

Her sons dick tastes funny.

Britney spears craig david and shaggy were on a plane and someone farts craig david says im walking away shaggy says it wasint me and britney spears says opps i did it again

the next day they are on a plane and someone farts shaggy says it wasnt me craig david says i;m walking away and britney spears says stronger than yesterday.

What happens when an [ethnic] stops paying his garbage bill?

They stop delivering.

There is a whorehouse on a hill. There is one person going to it, one
person leaving from it, and one person inside it. What are there
nationalities?

The man going up is Russian,

The man going away is Finnish,

and the man inside is Himalayan.

When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. And the Americans, they are so friendly! he concluded. Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, …. Jose, can you see?

Most people assume WWJD is for What would Jesus do?. But the initials really stand for What would Jesus drive?

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses followers are warned not to go up a mountain until the Rams horn sounds a long blast.

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didnt like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. Johns gospel where Christ tells the crowd, For I did not speak of my own Accord…

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that the roar of Moses Triumph is heard in the hills.

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: Joshuas Triumph was heard throughout the land. And, following the Masters lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda … The Apostles were in one Accord.

This material is lifted from copyrighted columns written by Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle and Roy Rivenburg of www.offkilter.org and the Los Angeles Times. Originally published on their Sept. 6, 2000, column, which was syndicated by Creators Syndicate and is available here.

What do you call oral sex with a midget?

A low blow.

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub, when they spotted an Irishman sitting off in the corner. To have a little fun, one of them approached him.
"Did yknow that St. Patrick was a sissy?"
"Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye."
The man returned to his friends, complaining that it hadnt worked. The second decided to try.
"Did yknow that St. Patrick was a transvestite?"
"Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye."
The second man returned to his friends, amazed that it hadnt worked. The third man knew he had the solution.
"Did yknow that St. Patrick was an Englishman?"
"Oh, no. But thats what yr friends hae been trying to tell me."