How do you sink an [ethnic] submarine?

Put it into water.

A black man is dying of thirst in the desert when he finds a gennie in a bottle.
The gennie grants him three wishes.

He says First I want a lot of water, Second I want to be white,
and third I want a lot of pretty naked women to sit on me

When he came to he was a toliet at the Waldorf Astoria.

Black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender asks, Where did you get that?

The parrot responds, Africa theres lots of them there!

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor. While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.

When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important.

Two days went by and the construction workers couldnt stand it any more, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said: We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important.

The police said Its not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important.

Well, who was it?

The 1956 Polish National Hide-and-Seek Champion.

Somewhere in Australia….

Papa, said the farmers son, you were a sheepherder in your younger days, perhaps you can tell me where virgin wool comes from.

Virgin Wool, my son, comes from the sheep the herders couldnt catch.

A Scotsman clad in a kilt walks up to the counter in an Apothecary. From
his pocket he takes a plaid condom that has been heavily used, torn, patched,
sewn, and is currently split down one side. He asks the proprietor, How much
to replace this, Ian? The proprietor says, Why, Angus, thatll be four pence.
Then the Scotsman asks, How much to repair? The prop. looks the condom over
carefully, and says, Three pence to repair. The Scotsman ponders for a moment,
then says, Ill be back.

Later in the day, the Scotsman returns with a smile on his face and says,
Ian, the Regiment has voted to repair!

–Bilbo Baggins
W25Y@CRNLVAX5

How did Japan start a war against African-Americans?

They bombed Pearl Baily.

What do you get when you cross a black guy with a groundhog?

Six more weeks of basketball.

Last week, a young middle-class woman consulted me. She was not unattractive, but her expression was one of frivolous earnestness, that is to say, intense self-absorption.

She approached the consultation like the oysters in The Walrus and The Carpenter, all eager for the treat. Here at last was an opportunity to talk about herself uninterruptedly and unconstrained by all those boring social conventions.

Whats your problem? I asked.

I hate myself.

And youve come for a second opinion?

Theodore Dalrymples medical column in the British publication The Spectator, 17 May 1997

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.