When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor.

At the dinner table the Ambassadors wife was talking with Madame deGaulle.

Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and International scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?

A penis, replied Madame deGaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer … and no one knew what to say next.

Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, appiness!

Two [ethnics] were walking along the street and came across a building
with a sign that said Taco Bell. One turns to the other and says, I didnt
know the Mexicans had their own phone company.

One Sunday morning, while walking to church, Paddy askes Bridget, Bridget, do we have sexual relations?

Bridget: Not on my side of the family, we dont.

Q. Whats Irish foreplay?

A. Brace yourself, Bridget!

Q. What is the most useless thing on a womans body?

A. An Irishman.

(Q)HOW DO YOU STARVE A BLACK GUY?

(A)PUT HIS FOOD STAMPS UNDER HIS WORK BOOTS.

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in.

After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life.

Im fine, Angus said. But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.

Well, ma laddie, says his mother, I suggest you dont associate with people like that.

Oh, says Angus, I dont, Mam, I dont. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes.

What do you call half a busload of [Ethnics] going off a cliff?

A shame the other half wasnt full.

What do you calla Hindu dating service?

Connect the dots

Did you hear that Buckwheat joined the nation of Islam?

He is now known as Kareem of Wheat.

I have just returned from a three week lecture romp from Shanghai to Beijing in China. While in the train station in Nanjing (Chinese train stations are invariably very crowded) I was reminded by a young woman that I should take very good caution over pocket pickers.

Did you hear about the rocket that was launched in West Virginia?

– It got up to 300 feet but ran out of coal!