A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveiras ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasnt smooth enough.

About 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didnt have to.

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didnt throw out the pest.

Oh, I really dont care or mind, said the waiter with a smile. We dont even have an air conditioner.

With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, its little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible. In one particularly cruel move, the proprietors of a chocolate catalog purchased the mailing list of a weight-loss organization. Chocolate sales rose almost immediately, but the weight-loss group wised up and now keeps it clients names to itself.

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.

Heck, Gloria, the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, we could have been here ten years ago if you hadnt heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!

Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.