There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest. And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, I want a motercycle helmet. And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female. And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet. And he got his wish.

The bear said, I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females. And he got his wish.

It was the rabbits turn, and he said, I wish that bear was gay.

There is a blond a brunette and a redhead and they get shipwrecked and are all stranded on a desert island. the brunetee is trying to think of a way to get back to land while the redhead gets food and the blond digs in the sand. Suddenly the blond cries out come look, come look so the brunette and the redhead come over to see what the blond has found, it turns out to be a magic lamp so they rub the lamp and a genie comes out and says i will grant you 3 wishes so the redhead says I wish i was back with my family POOF she is back with her family. the brunette says the same, POOF she is back with her family and the blond says sure is lonely without those guys i wish they were back here POOF, POOF, thy are all stranded on a desert island.

One day a woman archeologist found a magic lamp and rubbed it, and a genie popped out. you have three wishes. he said but your husband gets twice as much. i wish for a pile of dimonds poof! she got a pile of dimonds. poof! her husband got two. you have 2 wishes left. said the geinie. iwish for a pile of gold. poof! she got a pile of gold. poof! her husband got two. you have 1 wish left. remember your husband gets twice as much. so she thought real hard and finaly said i wish for you to scare me half to death.

There was a Genie that saw a bear chasing a rabbit the genie said if the bear stops he will grant them each two wishes. They Agree the bear says I want to have the bigest penis that any bear ever had so it is granted the rabbit says I want a motorcycle the genie shrugs and grants his wish. Then the bear said I want all the bears but me to be female that is also granted then the rabbit starts his motorcycle and says I wish the bear was gay and rides off.

There was this flea and he was walking along the beach and he looked down and found a lamp so he rubbed the lamp and a genie popped out and granted the flea three wishes so the fleas first wish was to be on benji so poof he was on benji about two weeks later he came back to the genie and the genie asked him whats the matter the flea said well benji scratched to much and took to many flea dips and i almost died so the fleas next wish was to be on willie nelsons beard hear so poof he was then about four weeks later the flea came back to the genie and the genie asked what was the matter so the flea said well willie smoked to much and the smoke would get caught in his beard and i almost died so his next wish was to be on dollie partons pubes (pubic hair) so poof he was there about six later he came back to the genie looking really confused so the genie was like whats the matter i thought i got rid of you on that one and the flea says i thought you did to but some how i ended up on willie nelsons beard again!

A guy was walking down the beach and found a bottle and picked it up. A genie appeared and said, Thank you for releasing me. As a reward I will grant you 3 wishes.

So the man said, I wish for a million dollars. and he got a million dollars. The man said, I wish for a luxury car, and he got a luxury car. The genie said, Before you make your third wish, I must tell you I am a duel genie. Whatever you wish for, your wife gets double that. Shes already got 2 million dollars and 2 luxury cars. Do you want to make a third wish?



Yeah, said the man, Beat me half to death!

One day a man (who hates lawyers)found a lamp along the beach.he rubbed it and a genie popped out.she said,i will give you three wishes….but there is a catch!the man said,a catch?the genie said,yes,whatever you wish for every lawyer gets double.he said,ok… my first wish will be…..a ferrari!poof!now every lawyer has 2 ferrarisi have always wanted to

have a million dollars !poof! now every lawyer has 2 million dollars.ummmm….i have always wanted to donate a kidney?poof!



now every lawyer has donated two kidneys!

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.

The genie says, Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.



The man cheers, Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want.



First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account. Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.



He continues, Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here. Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.



He continues,Finally, I want to be irresistible to women. Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes.

The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.



They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.



The wife said, Do you live here?



No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there and freed me from that little bottle. I am so grateful, he answered.



The wife said, Are you a genie?



Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, the third I will keep for myself, the man replied.



The husband and wife agreed on two wishes…one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.



The genie nodded and said, Done!



The genie now said, For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I have made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire.



The husband and wife agreed.



After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, How long have you been married? to which she responded, Three years. The genie then asked, How old is your husband? to which she responded, 31 years old. The genie then asked, How long has he believed in this genie stuff?

Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out.

A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, You get one wish between the two of you–make it a good one.

The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. Lemme handle this–I know just what to ask for!

He looks at the genie and says, We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer! The genie nods and says, You got it, boys!

And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer!

The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?

Whadaya talking about? the other fisherman answers. I thought youd like a lake-full of beer. Whats the problem?

I do like it…but the problem is…now we gotta piss in the boat!!!!