Charloote Hornets star Anthony Mason faces charges of statutory rape of two girls, ages 14 and 15. His attorney will use the Kennedy defense, which states that together they were 29.

YOU MEAN ME?

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, Nobody move! When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

A severly disturbed geography teacher killed six people who did not know the capital of Scotland. Police say hes still on the loose and remind everyone that the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh. (Carlin)

GOT A LIGHT?

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition — lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked.

Witnesses later described the scene of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion had never been thought of as bright by his peers.

The inventor of the airplane borarding ramp has died at age 85. Funeral seating will begin half an hour before the service, with preferential treatment for immediate family members, followed by friends and relatives holding passes numbered 1 through 30.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

THEY SAY THOSE THINGS WILL KILL YOU

Not much was given to me on this unlucky fellow, but he qualifies nonetheless. You see, there was a gentleman from Korea who was killed by his cell phone … more or less. He was doing the usual walking and talking when he walked into a tree and managed to somehow break his neck. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to drive and dial at the same time.

Newt Gingrich says that the major networks should give free air time to anti drug messages. For example, they should come on during your favorite show and talk about how drugs and alcohol are a dead end street… and now back to Nash Bridges starring Cheech Marin and Don Johnson. (Maher)

IN THE BAG

A tourist, supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didnt know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did – backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

Really Stupid People

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the films depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

AN IDIOTS IDIOT

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message Hes lying was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasnt telling the truth. Believing the lie detector was working, the suspect confessed.