Youre so ugly your mom couldnt tell if it was you or Freddy Krueger at the door.

you are so fat that when you went on a diving bord every one screamed mini van!

Do you know how to keep an idiot in suspense?

Ill let you know tomorrow.

Yo mamas so disgusting she got kicked out of red lobster for bringing her own crabs.

Your teeth are so yellow, drivers slow down when they see you.

30 Nasty Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man

1. Ive smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, its cute.
3. Why dont we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. Its OK, well work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no… a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, itll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this wont take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why dont we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. Its a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why youre supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird!!!

Yo mommas so fat she waves a popsical stick around and cals it airconditioning

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

Certainly, sir, thatll be 1 cent.

One penny?! exclaimed the guy.

The barman replied, Yes.

So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?

Certainly sir, replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money.

How much money? inquires the guy.

Four cents, he replies.

Four cents?! exclaims the guy. Wheres the guy who owns this place?

The barman replies, Upstairs with my wife.

The guy says, Whats he doing with your wife?

The bartender replies, Same as what Im doing to his business.

Youre so ugly you looked out the window and started World War III.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Ask your mom.