Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .

Q: How many Mensans does it take to screw in a litebulb?
A: None. They know that litebulb is misspelled and therefore cannot exist to be screwed in. Now of course, if it were a Miller Lite bulb…

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Three – one to change the light bulb and two to say Oh Wow!

Q: How many Filipinoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We dont know. The new bulb keeps getting shot at the airport.

How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They dont even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldnt be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that theyve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! ITS A WONDER WE HAVENT ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS … Im sorry … What did you ask me?

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: The change is 90% complete.

Q: How many Chowan students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three – if they get lucky and one of them has taken the course at Elizabeth City State.

Q: How many sado-masochists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a futurologist?
A: About 6,000,000. You pack them together under high pressure and drop the result from 100 meters on his head. Even if he can predict it to happen he cannot change it, right?