Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, the new one and the old one.

Q: How many alien life forms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Yeah, wouldnt the guys at SETI like to know *that*!

Note: SETI = Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence.

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.

The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by Lucille. He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.

She dont never leave no number, so I cant call her back, he said.

After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didnt leave a number.

She leaves her name was the reply.

After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the light bulb came on. How does she spell her name? the service rep asked.

L-O-W C-E-L-L

The light bulb seems to working fine on our system…

Q: How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Why does it *have* to be changed?

Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, provided theres an engineer around to explain how to do it.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but you have to wonder how they got in there.

Q: How many Thatcherites does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Its up to the private sector to provide the finance for it.

Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but hell tell everybody.

Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to turn on a light bulb?
A: 33 – 1 to process the instruction and 32 to process the interrupt.