Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 5, one to do it and 4 to say that they liked it but would have done it a bit differently.

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, provided theres a programmer around to explain how to do it.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Q: How many FORTRAN programs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1.00000000001

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: It cant be done. They only know how to twist things to the right.

Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, its a waste of time because the new bulb probably wont work either.

Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to screw it in and one to sponsor him.

Q: How many Apple programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but why bother ? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway.

Q: How many contrabassoon players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to hold the bulb and the other four to figure out the fingerings.