How many carpenters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, provided theres an engineer around to explain how to do it.

Q: How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two–one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: None: Well fix it in software.

Q: How many Radio 1 DJs does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.

Golden Retriever:

The sun is shining, the day is young, weve got our whole lives ahead of us, and youre inside worrying about a burned-out bulb?

Border Collie:

Just one. And then Ill replace any wiring thats not up to code.

Dachshund:

You know I cant reach that damned stupid lamp!

Rottweiler:

Make me.

Lab:

Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Siberian Husky:

Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while hes busy.

Jack Russell Terrier:

Ill just pop it in while Im bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle:

Ill just blow in the Border Collies ear and hell do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel:

Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher:

While its dark, Im going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer:

Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark …

Mastiff:

Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Chihuahua:

Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound:

Can somebody else do it? Ive got this hangover…..

Pointer:

I see it, there it is, there it is, right there….

Greyhound:

It isnt moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd:

First, Ill put all the light bulbs in a little circle …

Old English Sheep Dog:

Light bulb? Im sorry, but I dont see a light bulb?

German Shepherd:

Alright, everyone stop where you are! Who busted the light? I SAID,STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!

Great Dane:

Do any of you need to reach the lightbulb by climbing on my back ???

Hound Dog:

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Cat:

Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a Soviet emigre?
A: One, if you aim well.

Q: How many Alaskan women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hey Bob, this is Carol … I think I have a lightbulb out over here.

Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven – one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

Q: How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Theyd also like to remove the socket as you arent using it now.