Q: Why did the lightbulb cross the road ?
A: Because it saw 2 elephants coming.

Q: How many pro-choicers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to do it and one to assert that the bulb didnt exist before it was lit up.

Q: How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There is nothing to change.

Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10,000 – to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

Q: How many Apple Newton users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, tharks to the extnq-producilve handwritling processcr.

Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What do you mean change it? Its a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Paul Simon) My media experts tell me Im foolish for wearing my hair the same way I did in the 50s. But thats what Paul Simons all about. And I suppose my media experts are gonna say Im foolish for this, but in all candor, I change my light bulbs the same way I did in the 50s: my wife gets on a ladder and I turn it.

Q: How many election canvassers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Theyd just go round telling everyone that its time for a change but the only way this can come about is if everyone votes for New lightbulb.

Q: How many battery chickens does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 21. 1 to change the bulb, and 20 to provide the current.

Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to light a candle and say its just as good as electric light.