Q: How many alt.fan.hofstadter readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have special lightbulbs that screw themselves.

Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: At least three. (Notes: think height!)

Q: How many female opera singers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. If they sing loudly enough theyll break it.

Q: How many Torontonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fifty-one to do it and the other forty-nine to proclaim its the greatest event in the history of creation, a truly world-class bulb screwing.

Q: How many veterinarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb and two more to complain that an MD makes ten times as much for the same procedure!!

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who who wants to know?

Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to have a debate about whether this is the right time of year to be putting in lightbulbs or daffodil bulbs.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many people on Get Stuffed does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Four. Two to trot merrily down to the shops to buy a new one, of whom person 1 then rips it unceremoniously out of its packaging and person 2 starts to do the changing, and the 2 Mystery Chefs to interrupt and tell us hes doing it all wrong.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so…