The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasnt paying attention in class. She called on him and said, Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?

Little Johnny quickly replied, NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!

Little Johnny arrived home from school crying his eyes out. His mother asked,What happened Johnny?Stevie called me a sissy! he replied.So what did you do about it?I hit him with my purse!

A teacher asks her class, If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left? She calls on little Johnny. He replies, None, they all fly away with the first gun shot The teacher replies, The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking. Then, Little Johnny says I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married? The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied Well I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and sucked the cone To which Little Johnny replied, The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her Grade Two class because she realizes Little Johnnys habit of using sexual innuendo is going to cause some trouble.

Johnny remains attentive throughout the whole class and, finally, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.

One little boy raises his hand, I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.

Very good, William, said the teacher.

My mummy had a baby, said little Esther.

Oh, thats nice, replied the teacher.

Finally, Little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him. I was watching TV yesterday and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns.

The teacher was relieved but puzzled, And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?

Itll teach those Indians not to f*** with the Lone Ranger.

It was time for the sex talk to their kids, Little Johnny and Little Jane.

Each parent took a kid

THE mother told Little Jane that her private spot was a garage and no boy should stick their truck in it

The father took Little Johnny aside and told his piece was a truck and should be parked in a garage when he is old enough

After their respective talks, both kids went outside to play.

Little Johnny comes running and screaming and locked himself in the bathroom.

Jane comes in with blood all over her mouth. Her mom asked, What on earth happened?!

Jane said Well, Johnny tried to park his truck in my garage so i bit off his back tires…

Little Johnny is visiting the zoo with his mother. They go to the
elephant exhibit, where a big old bull elephant is taking a leak. Johnny
points to the pachyderms privates and says, Mommy, whats that? Mommy,
seeing the huge member, turns bright red and says, Oh, thats nothing.
Never mind. Come along now.

A few weeks later, Johnny is at the zoo with his father. Johnny grabs his
dad by the hand, and pulls him over the elephants, saying he has a
question. Once there, Johnny points to the elephants member and says,
Daddy, whats that? Dad replies, Didnt your mother tell you? Yes,
she told me it was nothing. Well, your mom is spoiled, son.

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.
Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?Daddy, relieved that Johnnys not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?

Little Johnny waves his hand, Me, miss, me, me!

Teacher says All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?

Little Johnny says Mas-tur-bate.

Teacher smiles and says Wow, little Johnny, thats a mouthful.

Little Johnny says No, miss, youre thinking of a blowjob. Im talking about a wank.

A teacher asked her students to use the word fascinate in a sentence.



Mary said, My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.



The teacher said, That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate.



Sally raised her hand and said, My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.



The teacher said, Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate.



Little Johnny raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word fascinate, so she called on him.



Johnny said loudly, My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons.

The teacher said, That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word fascinate in your sentence.



Little Johnny continued, But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!

Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.

Does anyone know what this is? She asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, Sure, my daddy has two of them!

Two of them?! the teacher asked.

Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommys teeth!