Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees?
A: Its referred to as the log scale.

Theorem: All positive integers are equal.

Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.

Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.

Proceed by induction.

If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1. So A = B.

Assume that the theorem is true for some value k. Take A and B with MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence (A-1) = (B-1). Consequently, A = B.

A hungry man went into a restaurant and noticed that the daily special was rabbit burgers, a real delicacy, for only 49 cents a burger. He was astounded at his good fortune to find such a bargain. When he inquired of the cook, the cook told him that in order to keep prices down he had to add some filler: in fact, only part of the burger was rabbit meat. The rest was horse meat.

How much of each kind of meat is in a burger? asked the customer.

The cook replied, There is an equal amount of horse and rabbit in the burger: One horse, one rabbit.

Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Dont worry, It doesnt have a point!

Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A: Because they thought they had a good dot product.

A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who was thrown in jail?
A: He now has zero degrees of freedom.

A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. No problem, says the mathematician, there is a simple equation for that, and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution. The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, What is that symbol? That is the Greek letter pi. What is pi? That is the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of a circle. Upon this the shoeseller cries out: What does a circle have to do with shoes?!

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.

1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c

Here $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that I have seen PhDs in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one. Actually I am crossposting this to sci.physics because I think that the latter makes a very nice introduction to the importance of keeping track of your dimensions.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?
A: Elephant banana sin theta in the mutually perpendicular direction.