What happens when people of different occupations get old.

– Old pacifists never die, they just go to peaces.

– Old perfessers never die, they just lose their class.

– Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

– Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

12. I wasnt sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!

11. This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

10. I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance

Quote from a recent meeting: We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done.

Quote from the Boss… I didnt say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired.

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. Thats because its unfamiliar territory.

My Boss said to me What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too … but at least I respect him.

Hes given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.

Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: Im sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!

HR Manager to job candidate I see youve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means youre under-qualified for our entry level positions.

Quote from telephone inquiry Were only hiring one summer intern this year and we wont start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss daughter finishes her summer classes.

How careers end…

Mathematicians are discounted.

Tree surgeons disembark.

Vegas dealers are discarded.

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

9. Actually Im doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

8. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.

7. Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadnt been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, We cant ship your new order until you pay for the last one.

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, Please cancel the order. We cant wait that long.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

15. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

14. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.

13. Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper

What happens when people of different occupations get old.

– Old musicians never die, they just get played out.

– Old number theorists never die, they just get past their prime.

– Old numerical analysts never die, they just get disarrayed.

– Old owls never die, they just dont give a hoot.

What happens when people of different occupations get old.

– Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.

– Walt Disney didnt die. Hes in suspended animation.

– Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.

– Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.

How careers end…

Students are degraded.

Electricians are refused.

Bodybuilders are rebuffed.

Underwear models are debriefed