My sister used to work for the government, but now she has seniority.

Then there was the undertaker who signed all his letters with Eventually
yours.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that
nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

I wouldnt be paranoid if everyone didnt pick on me.

Only the good die young, and only the young die good.

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know
the batteries are dead?

If a turtle didnt have a shell, would it be considered homeless?

Insanity is one mind working in two different directions at once.

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted.