If at first you dont succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

How many people do you know who have actually READ their entire
insurance policy and are prepared to discuss it intelligently?

-Richard Guindon

Why isnt there mouse-flavored cat food?

This wont hurt, I promise.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

90% of being smart, is knowing what youre dumb at.

Why do black people always think about sex?

Because of the p[ubic hair on their head

I love to sleep. It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.