What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

If you cant learn to do it well,
learn to enjoy doing it badly.

-Ashleigh Brilliant

As you read the scroll, it vanishes…

Id rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

The other night during dinner my brother told a joke and I laughed so
hard that milk shot out my nose. The creepy part is that I wasnt
drinking milk.

– Dave George

Why did the condom fly across the room

It got pissed off!

Genghis Khan is looking for a few good barbarians.

I didnt fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds? >