If athletes get athletes foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Slogans for womens T-shirts:
• Im out of estrogen – I have a gun.

• Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?

• I dont believe in miracles. I rely on them.

• Next mood swing: six minutes.

• And your point is?

• I used to be schizophrenic, but were OK now.

• Im busy. Youre ugly. Have a nice day.

• Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

• Of course I dont look busy… I did it right the first time.

• Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

• Im multi-talented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.

• Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP

• All stressed out and no one to choke.

• Im one of those bad things that happen to good people.

• How can I miss you if you wont go away?

• Sorry if I looked interested. Im not.

• Objects under this shirt are larger than they appear.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will
be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.

People usually deserve each other

This skeleton goes into a bar, and asks for a beer and a mop…

If fortification means a very large fort, why doesnt ratification
mean a very large rat?

Just remember… You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the
neighbors car!

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com