When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Just remember… You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the
neighbors car!

If you give a man a fire, hell be warm for a day.

If you set a man on fire, hell be warm for the rest of his life.

Whats the deal with ejection seats on helicopters?

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the escape key.

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.

I would have e-mailed you sooner, but my cat ate my mouse.

God was a bitch. Thats why testicles are on the outside.

Your Mama is so fat, that when she wore a Malcolm X T-shirt, a helicopter tried to land on her!

Save the Save the Whale Foundation.