Just when you thought you were winning the rat race

along come faster rats.

Five out of four people are schizophrenic.

Im the person youre mother always warned you about.

Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants but none of the offspring
survived.

–MAD magazine, circa 1960

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

Advise is Cheap, because supply always exceeds demand.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

You can never fall off the floor.

I have a theory that its impossible to prove anything,

but I cant prove it.

-Ashleigh Brilliant

They say if you build a better mouse trap, the world will beat down your
door. But usually, its just one neighbor, and hell probably quit once
you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.

– Dave James