One good thing about repeating your mistakes
is that you know when to cringe.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a big gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Drive defensively — buy a tank.

Work is for people who dont know how to fish

Chicken Little only has to be right once.

Why do slow down and slow up mean the same thing?

Today is the last day of your life so far.

Dont eat with your mouth full.

What do you call lice on a bald mans head?

Homeless.