I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they
go flying by.

Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

Stupidity is self-correcting.

The wind is like the air, only pushier.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Children give life to the concept of immaturity.

I dont use Listerine. They say it kills germs on contact
and I dont like the idea of things dying in my mouth.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open.

Why is it that when youre driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?