When in doubt, mumble.

What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?

You have to move them both aside before you eat

I dont think, therefore I am not.

Q: How many preservation society members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One, but it takes a year to find an antique Edison lightbulb so itll be aesthetically accurate.

If you were to sweep me off my feet…….you would have to be a broom.

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

I didnt claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.
So many channels. . .

So little choice.

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

Taxation with representation isnt so hot, either.

A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.