A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

Just when you thought you were winning the rat race

along come faster rats.

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds,
and the pessimist fears this is true.

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some
old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

When theres only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasnt you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream thats mine.

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, Did you feel that?

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, Its okay, dont panic, they open again.

Call out group hug, and then enforce it.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups:
the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the
thing-in-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge group.