This sentence no verb.

Happiness is a positive cash flow.

Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com

If it is all the same to you I wont be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world up over?

Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesnt Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is it that when youre driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Daylight savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? [NOTE: Geo.
Washingtons picture is on a quarter]

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can there be self-help groups?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If athletes get athletes foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If Barbies so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why dont deaf people wear earmuffs?

If cats and dogs didnt have fur would we still pet them?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you cant drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do the signs that say Slow Children have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it chili if its hot?

Why do we sing Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

There are more jokes like this at http://www.dirtylaughs.com

I can do without the essentials,
but I must have my luxuries.

-Ashleigh Brilliant

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
-Ashleigh Brilliant

Remember: If you throw dirt, youre losing ground.

Death is lifes way of telling you youve been fired.

The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to
accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.