Gravity is because the earth sucks.

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers
arent afraid to have a Chapter 11?

If you throw a kitten out the window does it become Kitty Litter?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

When I hear on the news about someone being killed execution style, it
makes me wonder what other styles there are.

– Blair Bostick

Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesnt get worse every year.

The statement below is true.

The statement above is false.

Happiness is a positive cash flow.

A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way,
when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your
fingernails across it until he hangs up.

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and hell believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why does sour cream have an Expiration date?

Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didnt grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Arent we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesnt glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as 4s?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?