Clinton said that his relationship with Monica was inappropriate, in fact
it was wrong.

Whats the difference between inappropriate and wrong. Well,
inappropriate is like wearing black shoes with brown pants. Wrong is
wearing black shoes and no pants.

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Neds here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat. "Ned, youre pretty popular!" says Bill. "Im the most popular man in the world," says Ned. "Now Ned," says Bill, your pretty popular but youre not the most popular man in the world." "Oh yeah," Ned replies "Ill bet you a thousand dollars that Im friends with anybody you can name!" "That so?" answers Bill, "How about the president of the United States?" "Lets go!" says Ned. The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, "Ned! How are you doing? I havent seen you in ages!" The three go play a round of golf and then leave. "That was luck!" says Bill, "Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!" "Lets go!" says Ned. The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. Hello Ned my boy! What have you been up to these days?" They enter the palace and have some tea and leave. Frustrated, Bill says, "Double or nothing, you dont know the Pope!" "J.P!" says Ned, "Lets go!" When they get to the Vatican, Ned instructs Bill to wait outside and Ned will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Ned, when the Pope came out, Neds arm was wrapped around him. Ned looks down from the balcony and sees Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up. "Bill! Bill! Wake up!" Bill opens his eyes and says, "Ned. Youre the most popular man in the world." "I told you that, Bill," says Ned, "but you didnt faint when I knew the President! You didnt faint when I knew the Queen!" "I could almost take it that you knew the Pope," says Bill. "But I just couldnt take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Whos that up there with Ned?"

Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.
— Jimmy Carter

Dear Bill:
OK, so Ill never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe!
— Gary Hart

My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.
— Hugh Grant

Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us up!
— Mayor Marion Berry

Dear Bill:
Look at the bright side. At least you werent caught wearing Monicas thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? Im back on TV for the fall.
— Marv Albert

Dear Mr. President:
You may have noticed that Im not jumping on the impeachment bandwagon (note: this was written a week ago). Let me assure you, youre not the only one in Congress who thinks oral sex isnt really sex.
Warm personal regards,
Newt

Dear Bill:
Hang in there, pal! By the way, Kathie Lee sends Hillary her regards and invites her to come on her show anytime.
— Frank Gifford

Dear Mr. President:
Now Im on the Supreme Court. Im here for life! And theres nothing anyone can do about it! So there!
— Justice Clarence (Long Dong) Thomas

Dear Former Worthy Opponent:
Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have gotten himself into this mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before Viagra, anyway!
— Bob Dole

Dear Mr. President:
I think its terrible what they are doing to you, and I want you to now that if you need to get away from it all, youre welcome to bring Buddy and stay with me on my Wonderland Ranch for as long as you want. Ill move the Cub Scout Pack to a tent on the lawn and you can have their room.
— Michael Jackson

Dear Fellow Sinner:
Jesus forgives you and so do I.
— Rev. Jimmy Swaggart

Dear Bill:
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
— Jim Baker
P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with you sometime.

Dear Bill:
Next time (if there is a next time), dont let them get you on tape. Big mistake!!
— With sympathy, Rob Lowe

Dear Bill:
If I survived wanting to be a tampon, you can survive the cigar bit. Things were grim for a while, but now it looks like I might actually manage to marry my darling Camilla, and someday Ill be King! Funny how life turns out. So keep a stiff upper lip! (And relax everything else, haha! And they say I dont have a sense of humor)
— HRH Charles Windsor, Prince of Wales

Dear Mr. President:
We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue.
— The editors, Cigar Aficionado magazine

After much arguing and deliberation, historians have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era. It will be called SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES.

After agonizing for several days over the situation in former Yugoslavia where ethnic Serbs, Bosnians, and Muslims are engaged in a fierce and bloody civil war, President Clinton today announced that he is strongly in favor of diversity.

Whats the differance between Bill Clinton and a carp?

Ones a bottom feeding nusiance, the other is a fish.

This political joke is from the book From Beirut to Jerusalem, by
Thomas Friedman.

A minister goes to the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad after a national election.

Minister: I have excellent news, Mr. President! You won 98.6% of the
vote in the election! Less than 2 percent of the people dissented!
What more could you possibly want?

Assad: Their names.

Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House?
A: There is White-out on the screen.

What brand of underwear does Monica Lewinsky wear?

Presidents Choice.

Q: Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and a pickpocket?
A: A pickpocket snatches watches.