Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face?
A: If his lips are moving, then hes lying.

Bill Clinton has been mistakenly characterized as a yes man when he is really a yes maam.

How many Ken Starrs does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it costs forty million dollars, and takes a long time
because he keeps asking about the screw part.

Why isnt Monica Lewinsky talking to the press?

Shes under a gag order.

The FBI has called in Ms. Lewinsky to face charges of destroying evidence.
It seems she has been washing out her panties without the courts permission.

Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton?

A: Washington couldnt tell a lie, Nixon couldnt tell the truth, and Clinton doesnt knowthe difference!

Q: Whats the difference between a leech and the IRS?

A: The leech will leave you alone when you die!

One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word tragedy.

"Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!"

The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?"

A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!"

The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesnt anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"

A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!"

"Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?"

"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, George Washington greets him. How dare you attack the nation I helped build! yells Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry approaches and says, You wanted to end the Americans liberty, so they gave you death! Henry punches Osama in the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense! He strikes Osama on the kneecap with a large spiked hammer. Osama is subjected to a series of similar beatings from John Randolph, John Adams, James Monroe, and a steady procession of other people who have the same love for liberty and the United States. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams in panic, This is not what I was promised! An angel replies, I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?

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Nursing Home Lawsuit Case: Clinton Denies Candy Stripers Allegations

Court Clears
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50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss

Baby Conceived Naturally

It Wasnt the Cigarettes – It Was the Ashtrays