Q: Well, then what do you call someone who sees the glass in front of him as half empty?
A: Teddy Kennedy.

Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporters finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Senator Hillary Clinton snuck off to visit a fortuneteller of some local repute.  In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"Theres no easy way to say this,so Ill just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow.  Your husband will die aviolent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at thewomans lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.  She simply had to know.  She met the fortunetellers gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.

"Will I be acquitted?"

Q: Whats a conservative?
A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.

Why did George Bushs presidency preceed Clintons?

Because Clinton is always after bush!

Q: Whats the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?

A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

What are the job requirements for secretaries at the White House?

They have to know the Presidents zip code.

Who is the only woman in the White House not sleeping with Clinton?

Hillary

Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors

Your Mother and Father Are of the Same Genetic Background

Mexicans Smell Vaguely of Jalapenos

Last Night You Enjoyed Carnal Pleasures With Your Sister

Your Intelligence Quota is Dubious at Best

For a Moderate Fee I Believe Your Mother Would Fellate Me

You Have Had Intimate Relations With a Person of African Descent and You Shall Never Know the Love of a Caucasian Again.

You Look Upon Your Dog With Lust

Methinks You Have the Odor of Fecal Matter Upon You

I Partook in Intercourse with Your Sister’s Derriere

The Acne on Your Face Spreads Throughout Your Nether Regions

The People of France Know Not the Joys of Deodorant

A Hamster is Superior in Intelligence to Your Mother

For An Evening of Sordid Delights Involving Both Sadism and Masochism, Please Ring Mary at 212.555.5555

Ryan Beaugarde is Inadequate in the Ways of Oral Enjoyment

The Heavy Metal Rock Band Entitled Motley Crue is Quite First-Rate

Your Sexually Promiscuous Mother Can Be Found in the Phone Book Under Whore

Homosexuals Are Men Who Have Intercourse With Other Men. If You Participate in Such Activities You Are A Homosexual

Your Father’s Proclivities Lead Him to Engage in Relations with Livestock

President Bush is Missing a Chromosome

The Toilet Upon Which You Currently Sit is Sprayed with a Mixture of Vomit, Feces and Urine.

Q: What do you get when you cross Bill Clinton and James Dean?
A: A man without a clue.