What is the biggest day of confusion in West Virginia?

Fathers Day.

You might be a redneck if…
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You might be a redneck if…
You list your parole officer as a reference.

You might be a redneck if…someone yells HO-DOWN and your wife hits the floor.

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewarts wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what Im doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world."Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Dont be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think theres yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby."No, no, dont be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man… It seems theres yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think its the light thats attractin them?"

You might be a redneck if…
You dont think Jeffs jokes are funny. 🙂

You think Meals on Wheels is another name for roadkill.

You shot your own 12 point coat rack.

Youve been to the emergency room more than 3 times for mashing the wrong end of a thumb tack.

Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa.

Your masseuse uses lard.

Your wifes best shoes have steel toes.

How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?

Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a teethbrush.

You might be a redneck if…
The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.