Burger King wont let you do it your way, right away.

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but cant remember your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but cant remember how old your children are.

You might be a redneck if…
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You might be a redneck if…
Your babys first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

You know youre a redneck if you think the last four words of the national anthem are:

Gentlemen, start your engines!

You might be a redneck if…
The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it).

Your best ashtray is a turtle shell. 252.Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You think cur is a breed of dog.

People hear your car long before they see it.

You complain about the ban on assault weapons because it make half your guns illegal.

You use a pig for a garbage disposal.

You cant go to church this year because your Sunday socks are being used as the trucks gas cap.

Log On: Makin the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Dont add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin too much firewood.
Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Gettin home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows: What to shut when its below 15 below.
Screen: What cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: Thats what the flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: Whats left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Freds around.
Modem: What cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrixs wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: Cmon in.
Random Access Memory: You cant remember whatcha paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

You might be a redneck if…
Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

You think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.

Youre still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You dont think Jeffs Foxworthys jokes are funny.