An italian, a mexican, and a redneck constuction worker all sat down one day to eat their lunch on top of a building they were working on. The italian opens his lunch and looks in and says Salami again! If I get salami one more day, Im gonna jump off this building The mexican opens his lunch and says Burrito again! If I get a burrito one more day, I am gonna jump off this building The redneck opens his lunch and says P-nut butter and jelly again! If I get p-nut butter and jelly one more day, I am gonna jump off this building. The next day at lunch, the Italian opens his lunch and finds salami so he jumps off the building. The mexican opens his lunch and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building. The redneck opens his lunch and finds p-nut butter and jelly so he jumps off the building. Later, at the funeral the Italians wife cries out I didnt know he disliked salami so much The mexicans wife cries out I wish I knew he was so sick of burritos The redneck wife says Hey, dont look at me, he always fixed his own lunch!

You might be a rednack if…

Youve ever worn hunters orange to church.

You have barnyard animals living in your house.

Every pair of jeans you own has a tobacco can ring worn in one of the rear pockets.

Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, Gun control is a steady hand.

Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the pickup seat.

You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums.

You have ever shot a possum on your porch.

You dont use a garbage service because it must be placed up near the mail box and you cant see far enough thru the trees to shoot the neighbors dogs when they get into it.

You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup.

You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house….not including 22 caliber.

You have guns in your house that you cannot find.

You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive department is raising your truck another 8 inches.

You think Wal-Mart is expensive.

Youve got more guns On Display than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods.

You have ever written a check for less than a dollar.

Your horse wears shoes, but you dont.

It doesnt bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted.

You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel.

You ask your 10-year old son how to spell a word.

Your dog is your alarm clock.

You might be a redneck if…
Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Your house doesnt have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if…
Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job–primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse!

You might be a redneck if you were conceived, born and taught on a pool table.

You might be a redneck if…

You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You call your boss Buddy, on a regular basis.

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. (Is that a bad mental image or what?)

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid youll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Someone in your family says Cumn heer an lookit this afore I flush it.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You might be a redneck if…
You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

You might be a redneck if…
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.