You might be a redneck if…
The primary color of your car is "bondo".

Yknow yer a redneck, when someone yells "Hoedown!" and yer date drop tthe floor.

You gene pool doesnt have a deep end.

Your huntin dawg cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.

What does a redneck girl and the Unabomber have in common?

Theyve both been fingered by their brothers.

You got your tater gun hangin over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.

Youve ever entered yourself in a Howdy Doody Look-alike Contest.

Your lips move while reading a stop sign.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

You might be a redneck if you think genitalia is an Italian airline!

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box)
Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Un-employed
Spouses Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet
Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___
Mothers Name: _______________________ Fathers Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_)The National Enquirer (_)The Globe (_)TV Guide (_)Soap Opera Digest
___ Number of times youve seen a UFO ___ Number of times youve seen Elvis ___ Number of times youve seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Not Applicable Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)dont know

If your wife asks you to get some groceries, and you put on camoflage and grab a shotgun, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if…
You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.

You go to the family reunion to pick up women.

Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You cant tell what color your car is because of the dirt.