Youve ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.

Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.

Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid youll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

One day Ma and pa were sitting on the porch, when Pa said to Ma juniors 21 years old now It’s about time we teach him about sex.

Ma said ya know pa your right.

So pa said to junior hey junior come on out to the porch for a second.

so junior came on out to the porch, Junior says ya pa whatcha want.

Pa said junior it’s about time we teach you about sex.

Junior said sex whats sex.

Pa turned to ma and told her to take off her clothes, so ma does, and she does a spread eagle right there on the porch.

Pa says to junior see that hole in ma? watch this. So pa starts going at it with ma.

In the mean time juniors brother comes out to the porch, he’s 18 and says, Junior whats ma and pa doing.

Junior says their teaching me about sex.

Junior’s brother says sex whats sex.

Junior says see that hole in pa watch this.Red One day Ma and pa were sitting on the porch, when Pa said to Ma juniors 21 years old now It’s about time we teach him about sex.

Ma said ya know pa your right.

So pa said to junior hey junior come on out to the porch for a second.

so junior came on out to the porch, Junior says ya pa whatcha want.

Pa said junior it’s about time we teach you about sex.

Junior said sex whats sex.

Pa turned to ma and told her to take off her clothes, so ma does, and she does a spread eagle right there on the porch.

Pa says to junior see that hole in ma? watch this. So pa starts going at it with ma.

In the mean time juniors brother comes out to the porch, he’s 18 and says, Junior whats ma and pa doing.

Junior says their teaching me about sex.

Junior’s brother says sex whats sex.

Junior says see that hole in pa watch this.Red

There are more jokes like this at http://www.dirtylaughs.com

You might be a redneck if…
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Yall Doin?" (If they respond with the same… theyre a redneck too!)

You might be a redneck if…
Your house doesnt have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if you cant get married to your sweetheart because theres a law against it!

You might be a redneck if…
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo! he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard a answering, Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!

He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?

No, said the Indian.

It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo! into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate.

Just then they saw another cave.

The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave stopped, and hollered, Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!

Immediately, there was an answering Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo! from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!
It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo! He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation and then he heard the answering call, WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!

With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the Local Newspaper read..

NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN

You might be a redneck if…
Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.