You might be a redneck if…
Youve never paid for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something from your fridge!

You might be a redneck if…

You wont stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Your dog cant watch you eat without gagging.

You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

Red Man sends you a Christmas card.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Your house doesnt have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if…
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

You might be a redneck if…
Youre an expert on worm beds.

You have to hit the dashboard in your truck to get the lights and radio to work.

The tires on your pick-up are taller than your children.

The duct tape on your car seat sticks to your butt when you get out.

You might be a redneck if…
You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits.

You think Tang is in the fruit group.

You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have trouble with your ABCs.

You might be a redneck if…
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.

Your mama has more tattoos than you do.

You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator.