You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.

On stag night, you take a real deer.

Your back porch is bigger than your house.

You might be a redneck if…
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.

You might be a redneck if…

If you are 20 and you can still go in McDonalds playhouse.

If you think Purina is some kind of Ex-Lax.

Youve ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present.

Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife.

Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer.

You picket your horses on your lawn so you wont have to mow it.

Youre wearing a camoflauge jacket and dipping in your drivers license pic.

You stop to flirt with the person running the drive through at McDonalds.

You save old kitchen appliances for target practice.

You save old kitchen appliances for childrens Christmas presents.

You get up EARLY on Saturday to go yard sale shopping for entertainment.

Your gun cabinet takes up half your living room.

Anytime your kids see a dog they get out their ropes and lasso it and tackle it to the ground.

Your master bathroom has the words porta and potty written on the side.

You cant take a bath in the winter cause the stream is frozen.

You only bathe when it rains.

You think Dueling Banjos is classical music.

You refer to the Surgeon Generals Warning on a pack of cigarettes as your medical encyclopedia.

You go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.

Youre 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.

You think possum is the other white meat.

Backup – What you do when you run across a varmint in the woods.

Bug – The reason you give for calling in sick to work.

Byte – What your pitbull done to cousin Billy-Bob.

Chip – Cow pasture surprises that you try not to step in.

Terminal – When yer about to die.

Crash – When you go to Jethros party uninvited.

Digital – The art of counting on yer fingers.

Diskette – Female who dances the disco.

Fax – What you lie about to the IRS and yer wife.

Hacker – Uncle Willie after 32 years of smoking.

Hardcopy – Picture used to help you select a tattoos.

Internet – Where cafeteria ladies put their hair.

Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to yer John Deere.

Mac – Big Johns favorite fast food.

Megahertz – How your head feels after 13 beers.

Modem – What you do when the grass gets so high that it hides the pickup truck that you have on blocks in the front yard.

Mouse Pad – Where Mickey and Minnie call home.

Network – Scoopin a big fish before it breaks yer line.

ROM – Where the pope lives.

Screen – Keeps mosquitoes outta yer trailer.

Serial Port – A red wine you drink with yer breakfast.

Superconductor – The guy who yells All Aboard the loudest at a train station.

SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – What you call your two-week-old underwear.

You might be a redneck if…
An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans.
3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer-colored.
5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
7. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.
8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
9. You think that the Stormtrooper Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.
10. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
11. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.
12. Your master has said, My finger you will pull..hmmm?
13. You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
14. You have lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
15. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
16. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
17. You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didnt have to wait for a commercial.
18. You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
19. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
20. Your father told you, Shoot, son come on over t the dark side…itll be a hoot.
21. Youve had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light a bar-b-que.

Its the way you say it…

A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, Where does you go to school?

The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question.

Yale, she replied.

The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

You might be a redneck if…
Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center. (Clinton true-life story)

Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house

The ASPCA raids your kitchen.

You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get

Your horse wears shoes, but you dont.

It doesnt bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted.

You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel.